Oh how many times I have said this: Lord, I am ready to quit.
I confess to you all that there is a spirit inside of me that is just ready to throw in the towel when things get beyond me. Whether in work, play, relationships or Church, I have given in on more occasions than I would like to admit.
How many of us do this? We are in a world too accustomed to throwing things away when they don’t meet our expectations, walking away when things get hard. It’s too easy to walk away from something when we feel like we can’t do it. Many of us quit on jobs, relationships, marriages, and even life.
For me, taking on a leadership role, God has called me to recognize and come face to face with this spirit of weakness and repent.
WHY LORD WHY???
I lead a life group for my church and every year I come to this place where I just “can’t do this anymore.” EVERY YEAR. My excuses include: I don’t have time, the pain is too great, I am so tired, I’m too old, do they really like me, or I’m not good enough.
Ohhhh that last one is a doozy. I hear that more often than I care to, “You are not good enough. You don’t know enough to mentor these young ladies. How much of the Bible do you really know?” Never from people, mind you, it is all the spirit in my head. The enemy knows my weakness: lack of confidence, lack of self-esteem, and worry.
And every time, or might I say it like this, EVERY TIME, my Father draws me close and says, “My Daughter, you are my workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works which I prepared for you (Ephesians 2:10). You are fearfully and wonderfully made, I knew you before anyone on this earth ever did (Psalm 139:13-14.) I have plans for you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) I will fulfill my purpose for you (Psalm 138:8.)
And my mind goes back to the wonderful reminders in God’s Word of people, who just like me, may have been ready to throw in the towel or didn’t think they were good enough. I consider, what would have happened if Noah had said, Lord you’re daft if you think I can build that big of a boat! Or Abraham had given in and said, God nope I am too old to be the father to your chosen people. How about if Moses had given in and said God I just don’t want to lead these crazy people. What if David had said, Lord there is no way I’m going up against a giant! And what about the prophets, if they would not have had the courage to step out of their comfort zone and serve the Lord?
Thankfully, while they may have experienced moments of uncertainty, they did it anyway.
THEY DID IT ANYWAY. Yes, sometimes just like these wonderful people who came before us, we must step out in Faith TRUSTing that God’s plan is greater than our own.
They realized what I too must remember, my strength is not my own, my strength is in CHRIST. Philippians 4:13 promises that I can do ALL THINGS in CHRIST who strengthens me.
My friends, God has called us to a purpose greater than ourselves. He has called us to great and wonderful things and He reminds us that we know for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His Purpose (Romans 8:28.)
So what next? When I face this spirit what should I do?
Repent for being afraid and recognize that this is God’s calling on my life, when He is ready for me to walk away, He will present another opportunity and make it known to me.
I must wait on Him to renew my strength. Every day, He promises to renew me and I must trust and lean into Him (Isaiah 40:31.)
I can remember that Jesus can sympathize with my weakness. He too was tempted as I am and yet He never gave up on us (Hebrews 4:15.)
Put on the full Armor of God. Yes, I must remember that there is a spiritual battle at stake and God has given me the tools to fight this weakness inside, step out in Faith and follow Him (Ephesians 6:10-18.)
Father, You are a great and gracious God! Thank You for the Grace which You have blessed us, thank You for loving us so much that You sent Your Son to be the Perfect mentor for us. Thank You for allowing us to be part of Your Great Story. Please forgive me Lord for allowing fear to keep me from the purpose and plan You have designed for me. I ask Father that You help me in these moments to always trust that You are for me and will give me the strength to follow through with the purpose You have designed just for me. I pray Father that if there is anyone else who too suffers from the desire to quit that You will give them the strength to carry on, to do it anyway and to realize that “They too were made for such a time as this.”
We Love You Lord,
Your Daughter